Does my 91 year-old Grandma have a better social life than you?

I recently came back from an amazing trip in the Philippine islands and Bali.

The purpose of the trip was to visit my 91 year-old Grandmother (aka “Lola”) in Manila, but we couldn’t resist hitting a few more locations after a 16 hour flight.

We dragged Lola everywhere with us…and she kept up! Here she is killin’ a bowl of ice cream, isn’t she adorable?

Lola eating ice cream

I was stunned at her stamina given the many boat rides, bumpy roads, temples and islands we visited. When we finally had a respite at her home in Manila I asked her how she kept up. She said she was just having fun but felt “out of her routine.”

She was right, we totally switched things up on her. We had taken over her home, went out to eat constantly and took her to explore Asia with us!

My first thought was, “Alright Lola, calm down. What routine? You’re 91 years-old! Don’t you just sit at home and watch soap operas?”


Well, clearly I was wrong when I learned that she has a pretty busy social calendar:
  • Bible study group every Tuesday night
  • Church all afternoon every Sunday
  • Weekly visits to the theater and Shangri-La hotel to watch a small orchestra play

Well here’s what’s interesting…. I dug deeper and asked my Lola about the importance of all these social events.



Turns out that my Lola actually credits her memory, upbeat attitude and stamina to staying socially active. She makes it a point to keep up with her personal connections like family, friends and neighbors especially after my Grandfather passed away. She says that it helps “keep her going.”

So what does my 91 year-old Lola have to do with YOUR social life? 
What I’m trying to get at, is that personal connections are the foundation to living a fulfilling life…even when you live in a third world country, are 91 years-old, have lost your life partner but still want to make the most of life.


I write a lot about how becoming socially attractive can help you “live your best life” and how when I beat my social hangups my life was transformed. I was not kidding, and my Lola is living proof of that.


So today I want to help you get some social events on your calendar.


How do I invite people to hang out?

Well it’s pretty easy, the objective of inviting people to hang out is to get them to say “yes.”

In order to get them to do this, you have to lower the friction involved for them to commit.

You can do this by:

  • Proposing a few choices for days/times/venues
  • Make the venues centrally located and easy to get into (i.e. don’t invite them to a VIP club)
  • Give them a reason (even if it’s a bad one) to meet up
  • Keep it casual to reduce pressure
  • Be cheerful (people want to hang out with fun people)
  • Don’t be desperate
So what are you waiting for? Start thinking about the top 3 people you’ve been wanting to hang out with.

In the next post, I’ll  share a word-for-word script I’ve personally used to make more connections when I moved to a brand new city and didn’t know anyone. I’ll also explain WHY it works.But before I do that, let me know in the comments why you think it’s important to add a few more social events on your calendar.

2 thoughts on “Does my 91 year-old Grandma have a better social life than you?

  1. An executive of a major assisted living facility once told me the best thing to do to stave off alzheimer’s disease is social interaction. So, kudos to your Lola who is doing the right thing for her mental health.
    As to some hints for ‘filling your dance card’, I would offer that when inviting people out, you should consider tailoring the invitation to your interlocutor’s interests and preferences. For example, if food they like will be served there, highlight that. In other words, if accepting the invitation addresses your guest’s personal interests, preferences, or benefits, the proposal will be irresistible.
    Keep up the good work.

    1. Thanks Joe! Yes, that’s another great way to generate interest and “get to yes!” The principle is to make it as “irresistible as possible” 🙂

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